Many people make the choice to keep their fantasies to themselves and some share them with their same gender friends. The healthiest decision is to share your fantasies with your partner in an open and honest way. I know this can be difficult and we may worry what they will think, how they will react and in some cases, we worry about whether our partner will make fun of our fantasies. Only you and your partner know if you can communicate honestly with one another about your fantasies.
While women like to talk about their feelings – they may find it difficult to tell their partner who and what they fantasize about. So men – let me share some things with you that could be very helpful. However, keep in mind that all women are different – so these details are only a starting point…
- Many women fantasize about things, activities and people who are familiar to them.
- In her mind, this can be because she sees this as a safe way to find pleasure without cheating on or betraying you.
- Women usually fantasize on an emotional and personal level – that can be more important than the appearance of the person they fantasize about.
- This can include how a man respond to them, the way they interact with one another and how they are “touched” by a man – emotionally, mentally and physically. (Remember it’s a fact that the brain is the largest sex organ.)
- Men and women are likely to include the face of the person they fantasize about. Women do this because they want to see signs of how the person is reacting to them. That is very often conveyed by a person’s facial expressions.
- Emotional arousal can and often is more important than sexual arousal – at least initially.
- Women want affection from their partner and they want that person to be committed to them.
- The interaction, behavior and thoughts of the partner are important to the women
- Women usually notice any other people in the fantasy, where the fantasy takes place, the plot behind the fantasy and what is being said and done. This can definitely include more intimacy with their partner, caressing, massaging, etc. (This sounds a lot like feminist porn to me.)
- This will surprise you – women’s fantasy are likely to include being dominated
- Women usually want to be viewed as the object of sexual desire and they want to receive pleasure – not just be expected to give their partner pleasure.
- These fantasies can include a lot of foreplay and take time to unfold – although its not uncommon for women to fantasize about a passionate quickie which may happen in a public or semi-public place.
I think we all realize that each person is different and you or your partner could be very different and you need to be able to communicate with your partner to determine their boundaries – in your sex life and in her fantasies. But this gives you some ideas to start understand more about women and their sexual fantasies.